I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
