I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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