Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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