just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize