Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
