I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
we made out on top of his cat.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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