And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
