So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
