My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
MIDGETS
????
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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