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I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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