the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
