Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize