we're blogging at a bar
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
