I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think my moral compass just broke
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
