I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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