she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize