i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
