Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
