So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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