i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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