Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
