i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize