maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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