And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Michael Bay diarrhea
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
