Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
