If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
