Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
