I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
