white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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