I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
