Midget sex pt 2 tonight
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm too high and old for this...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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