We're like a lot better than the average bears
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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