Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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