just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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