Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize