Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
