Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
