I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
