He is such a slut. More and more my type.
this just has baby written all over it
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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