I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
