I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Randomize
