I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
soo... how was my night?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
