Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
