once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
