The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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