You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize