I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
