M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
