You made me cry and you don't even care
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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