if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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