you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
