Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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