I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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