Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
