I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
