He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
