Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
