Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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