Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think a kid would responsible me up
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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