you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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