i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
...so i touched it.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
