Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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