Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I could have mohawked her pubes.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
