Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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