Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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