Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
