I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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