was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
