when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
