just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Say something about gay babies.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I understand Curling. That high.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
