Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
