So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
