Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize