I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
