Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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