And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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