I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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