can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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