i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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