i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
