So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize